Invisioning... Health, Peace and Empowerment

The red lights cast a warm beautiful glow, as she interpreted with her movements how her body came alive creating life with in. I sat absorbed in the movements and the words. I was taken on an intimate journey through creation, loss, turmoil, ambivalence, healing, empowerment, growth and trust. As she transitioned through becoming pregnant, losing her baby, healing from the loss, conceiving again, moving through the stages of pregnancy and finally being welcomed into motherhood. Every step of the way she was surrounded by love, healing, support, wisdom and community.

 The reality is that The United States ranks behind at least 39 other nations in maternal mortality rates according to a recent study published in The Lancet. In 2008, the United States reported 17 maternal deaths per 100,000 live births, up from 7.5 per 100,000 in 1982. Infant mortality rates, the U.S. only ranked number 30 in 2013, down five spots from the 2012 report.( Michelle Castillo CBS News May 7, 2013 CBS Interactive Inc.). African Americans have 2.3 times the infant mortality rate as non-Hispanic whites. They are almost four times as likely to die as infants due to complications related to low birthweight as compared to non-Hispanic white infants (http://minorityhealth.hhs.gov/templates/content.aspx?ID=3021).  
 

I grieved and mourned for all the women, babies and families that don't have accessibility to wisdom, sisterhood, community, welcoming, honoring, support, ritual, love, healing, and community. I envision a world in which we all have access, and I ask that you join me in this vision and support women, babies and families in achieving this.







 

Stop Fat Talking!!!

http://http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=4CuMJybvAh8
Let's see, my first memory of dieting... 7 years old laying on my parents bed while my family eats dinner. I have my shirt pulled up and my belly sucked in, so I can get a look at my ribs poking out. "Now that looks good" I would think to myself. You see, I wasn't eating dinner, because I did not want to get fat! I learned that if I told my mom i wasn't feeling good then I cold skip dinner, and when I skipped dinner it was easier to suck my belly in and have my ribs poke out..

I remember being around that same age and watching my mom look at herself in the mirror, "I really hate this belly, the way it hangs since I had kids." My mom was always dieting, fasting, etc. Family and friends would react to her when she lost weight... " Oh you are so beautiful when you keep your weight down" or when she gained weight "You have such a beautiful face, you would be gorgeous if you lost weight".

I think I was 12 when I went to spend the summer with my grandmother. 12 is am awkward age... between little girl and teen. It was interesting the way my body prepared for puberty. Fat deposited around my middle, I guess that was the waiting area, while it was figuring out where to go (tits and ass). Anyways, my grandmother decided I needed a diet. I could all the mangoes I wanted all day, then dinner at night.

After I had my kids, I was changing my clothes in front of that same grandmother, and she said to me, "Oh your belly hangs like an apron, that's what my belly looked like before I got a tummy tuck". It's no wonder my mother has the body image that she has, and that I have struggled my entire life with mine.

Your mother, or other family member, may have done the same thing while your were growing up by making constant comments about her own weight (or yours) and enforcing lots of food restrictions on herself (or you). Early on, you may have gotten the message that you need to be thin in order to be accepted and loved by your parents. It is so easy to look at yourself in the mirror and think that your thighs are fat, that you have fat rolls, that you’re too fat to wear something and saying things to your friends and family members like ‘You look great have you lost weight?’ is all damaging to yourself and to the women and girls around you.

We are conditioned from a very young age to believe that self-worth is derived from these external characteristics. For example, being thin and/or muscular is associated with being “hard-working, successful, popular, beautiful, strong, and self-disciplined.” On the other hand, being “fat” is associated with being “lazy, ignorant, hated, ugly, weak, and lacking will-power.” These stereotypes are prevalent in our society; and they are reinforced by the media, our family and friends, and even well-respected health professionals. As a result, we often unfairly judge others and label them based on their weight and size alone. We feel great anxiety and pressure to achieve and/or maintain a very lean physique. And, we believe that if we can just be thinner or more muscular, we can be happier, more successful, and more accepted by society.

The media sets unrealistic standards for what body weight and appearance is considered “normal.” Girls are indoctrinated at a very young age that Barbie is how a woman is supposed to look (i.e. no fat anywhere on your body, but huge breasts). NOTE: If Barbie were life-size, she would stand 5’9” and weigh 110 lb. (only 76% of what is considered a healthy weight for her height). Her measurements would be 39-18-33, and she would not menstruate due to inadequate levels of fat on her body.

Similarly, boys are given the impression that men naturally have muscles bulging all over their bodies. Take a look at their plastic action-figures (like GI Joe Extreme) in toy stores. If GI Joe Extreme were life-size, he would have a 55-inch chest and a 27-inch bicep. In other words, his bicep would be almost as big as his waist and bigger than most competitive body builders’. These body ideals are reinforced every day on TV shows, movies, magazine covers, and even video games. At UCLA, where the crowd is young and the warm climate promotes use of revealing clothing, the exaltation and expectation of extreme leanness is even more exaggerated.

And the media’s portrayal of what is “normal” keeps getting thinner and thinner for women and more muscular and ripped for men. Twenty-five years ago, the average female model weighed 8% less than the average American woman. Currently, the average female model weighs 23% below her average weight. Similar trends are seen with men. The average Playgirl centerfold man has shed about 12 lbs. of fat, while putting on approximately 27 lb. of muscle over the past 25 years.

With these media images and body ideals, it’s little wonder that women and men feel inadequate, ashamed, and dissatisfied with how they look. Only about 5% of women have the genetic make up to ever achieve the ultra-long and thin model body type so pervasive in the media. Yet that is the only body type that women see and can compare themselves to. Similarly, all boys see is a body ideal that for most men is impossible to achieve without illegal anabolic steroids. There is a physiological limit to how much muscle a man can attain naturally, given his height, frame, and body fat percentage. Unfortunately, however, the action figure heroes on toy store shelves and male fitness models on magazine covers and ads suggest otherwise.

Consider this, only about 5% of American women have the ultra-long and thin body-type that is seen almost exclusively in the media. Women who attempt to achieve this body type (but lack the genetic material to do so) are setting themselves up for years and years of yo-yo dieting, weight fluctuations, disordered eating, and depression.

Similarly, the body ideal projected to boys and men in most muscle magazines and cartoon action figure heroes is impossible to achieve without illegal anabolic steroids. In most cases, if a man claims to have achieved this ideal with hard training and strict diet alone, he probably didn't. There is a physiological limit to how much muscle a man can attain naturally, given his height and body fat percentage. In other words, it’s physiologically impossible to gain unlimited pounds of pure bulging muscle mass while maintaining an ultra lean, ripped body (with only 3-7% body fat)--even when following the “perfect” training and diet program. Once you reach your maximal muscle mass, any further gains will come from both muscle AND fat. So, men who have greater muscle mass/size tend to have higher body fat percentages as well (e.g. 10-15%).

If you haven’t already, promise to eliminate Fat Talk from conversations with friends, family and also with yourself! Strive for the healthy ideal without focusing on weight or size.

Building a Community of Womyn Authentically Living

In our society we face many challenges to living our lives authentically. We are socialized to believe we should behave, look and feel a certain way. When we are caught between social expectations and our authentic selves, we become unbalanced, depressed and anxious. It is my intention to use this blog for us to be real, to discover our authentic selves. Talk of our experiences.

What it's like being a girl?

How do we feel about menstruating, or not menstruating?

What was falling in love like for you?

How and what did you learn about sex?

What are your ideas about pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding... being a mother?

How do feel about getting older... menopause?

Any and all ideas about being a womyn are welcomed.



FOR EVERY GIRL WHO IS TIRED OF ACTING WEAK WHEN SHE IS STRONG, THERE IS A BOY TIRED OF APPEARING STRONG WHEN HE FEELS VULNERABLE. FOR EVERY BOY WHO IS BURDENED WITH THE CONSTANT EXPECTATION OF KNOWING EVERYTHING, THERE IS A GIRL TIRED OF PEOPLE NOT TRUSTING HER INTELLIGENCE. FOR EVERY GIRL WHO IS TIRED OF BEING CALLED OVER-SENSITIVE, THERE IS A BOY WHO FEARS TO BE GENTLE, TO WEEP. FOR EVERY BOY WHOM COMPETITION IS THE ONLY WAY TO PROVE HIS MASCULINITY, THERE IS A GIRL WHO IS CALLED UNFEMININE WHEN SHE COMPETES. FOR EVERY GIRL WHO THROWS OUT HER E-Z-BAKE OVEN, THERE IS A BOY WHO WISHES TO FIND ONE. FOR EVERY BOY STRUGGLING NOT TO LET ADVERTISING DICTATE HIS DESIRES, THERE IS A GIRL FACING THE AD INDUSTRY'S ATTACKS ON HER SELF-ESTEEM. FOR EVERY GIRL WHO TAKES A STEP TOWARDS HER LIBERATION, THERE IS A BOY WHO FINDS THE WAY TO FREEDOM A LITTLE EASIER.

Adapted from a poem by Nancy R. Smith.